What we talk about when we eat #3

Jerk pork loin + rice and beans + salad, restaurant, Bristol

‘Indians have the strongest chillis.’

‘No, they don’t. Mexico does. Indian chillis aren’t even as hot as scotch bonnets.’

‘What is scotch bonnet?’

‘It’s the chilli in your jerk seasoning.’

‘It doesn’t taste that spicy. It has a kick to it. But I can take it. Look at me. You’ll have to try better than that sunshine.’

‘It’s been cooked though. It’ll be less spicy once it’s been fried.’

‘I could eat a whole one.’

‘I don’t think you could.’

‘I am your father. If I say I can do something, you’re supposed to reply “Wow dad, you’re an inspiration.’

‘No, I want to see this.’

(A bowl with two whole fresh scotch bonnets arrive.)

‘What’s your tactic? In one or bite at a time?’

‘Come on. This is easy. Want to make it interesting?’

‘Okay.’

‘Ten pounds I can’t taste anything.’

‘Ten pounds. Fine. I bet you even get hiccups.’

‘Listen, boyo. I have been around the block. I have seen a few things. I think I can take a…’

‘Pardon.’

‘W-w-aaaaaaaater. I need. Water.’

‘And ten pounds. You owe me ten pounds.’

‘Is this even legal, this chilli? It burns so much. It’s going to give me so many problems at the other end.’

‘Wow dad, you’re an inspiration.’

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