What we talk about when we eat #4

Seared leg of lamb + lamb moussaka + curly kale + broad beans, restaurant, Bristol

Homely food, cooked on premises from food reared locally, drowned in meat gravy and seared to perfection. Broad beans firm and tasty. Lamb moussaka contains aubergine, my nemesis – I ate everything on my plate.

‘If you had twins, would you dress them the same?’

‘No. Definitely not. No way. They would have separate wardrobes. They could have the same outfits but they would wear them on the same day.’

‘Twins must hate dressing the same. They must feel like it impinges on their individuality.’

‘Not really. It’s probably so normal that they don’t mind.’

‘What percentage of twins do you think hate each other?’

‘About as much as any set of siblings who hate each other. I don’t think it’s uncommon.’

‘I reckon it is. Remember: they have an unspoken undefinable bond. I’ve seen the programmes.’

‘I don’t feel like I know enough about twins. If only there WAS more programmes about them.’

‘”Twins Who Hate Each Other” would be a great show. “They’re twins. But they just don’t get along…’

‘… hosted by Tia and Tamara. Meet Sally…’

‘And Jacie… they’re twins…’

‘… and they just don’t get along.’

‘…”She’s always dressing just like me and stealing my boyfriend.”‘

‘”Her boyfriend should be able to tell us apart. It’s his fault.’

‘Sally and Jacie are twins… but they don’t get along.’

‘I reckon this is also a good idea for a film.’

‘They already did it! Starring Arnie and Danny Devito. Did you know there’s a sequel due shortly called Triplets. Guess who’s playing the third twin?’

‘Al Pacino?’

‘No. Eddie Murphy. Oh… that sounds stupid.’

‘Yes the sequel to the film that posits Arnold Schwarznegger and Danny Devito as twins is stupid…’

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